3rd of May 2017. Four years ago I held you in my arms for the first time. The room was so silent without your cry and I felt like the time had stopped. Your daddy and I couldn’t say anything. We were just looking at you, heartbroken, our gorgeous boy. You made us parents for the first time and nothing will ever change that. The last four years were a rollercoster but I tried to be strong for your daddy and your little brother. I have to be honest, it doesn’t get any easier with the years passing by but I’m making sure that every year we mark your anniversary the best way we can. I often think how you would be looking now, trying to imagine your face and features. I also think about the things you might love to do, would you like storytime? Would you love colouring? We will never get to experience you growing up and it’s so painful but there is no day that goes by that we don’t think about you. I hope you are proud of us and how strong we became. Today like for every anniversary I decorated a corner in the house for you. I got a new candle holder and your brother and I crafted an angel figure. He calls you D and gives kisses to your picture every time we show it to him. Today I will read the book that was given to us with your memory box “Guess How Much I Love You” to him. I’m thinking of doing it every year to remember you. You are very much loved and I hope that all this love reaches you in Heaven. Keep protecting us and guiding us from up above. Mummy and daddy love you right up to the moon and back.
Published by Ileana Cascetti
I am an Italian woman living in Ireland. Here, almost 8 years ago, I found my independence and my happiness, I met the love of my life and created my own family. I am a determined and strong willed person but unfortunately life put me through one of the toughest moments I ever experienced. This blog is thought to regain confidence in myself and the future and it represents my journey dealing with anxiety after experiencing a termination of pregnancy due to fatal fetal anomaly. I will talk about my life and share with you my good and bad days. I will also raise awareness on TFMR and mental health after a trauma. View all posts by Ileana Cascetti