I first want to acknowledge and thank the people who found the time to read my last post. I would never thought it would have been shared so many times, it was really a surprise to me and to my husband also. I really hope it helped people that went through a similar situation and also gave some insight on something that is unfortunate but that can happen. That post was the hardest to write since I started my blog. I never wrote about my experience that way, describing situations and as you can imagine it brought up painful memories. I could finally let go of the guilt although I was a bit scared of judgement.
This blog brought my confidence back. I’m in a better place now with my mental health, still learning how to control anxiety but more aware on what I can do to ease it at least. I can finally dedicate myself to what I like allowing positive feelings to fill my mind. There are still things that makes me happy and proud despite outside events that are challenging at the moment. I’m honest I panicked when I found out that Ireland was going to be on its third lockdown, not that the situation in other countries is much different, but I’m scared because my integrity is being tested again and I’m just praying I’ll have the power to overcome stress and anxiety when I feel that is too much. I have my beautiful family to support me and get me through it.
This Christmas wasn’t the same as for many other people around the world. We were lucky to spend it with my in laws. It was great getting out of the house for 2 days, my son Rían had such a great time. Those 2 days were so refreshing. The atmosphere wasn’t the same as the previous years. My thoughts were with my family in Italy, their Christmas was different this year. I have a big family and usually they reunite on Christmas day for dinner, but not this year due to restrictions. I really feel for them as it never happened before. I skyped with them on Christmas morning and it was great. They got to see Rían and it was nice to chat with them. I can’t believe just one year ago I was counting the days to go over for my birthday. This year was so intense and fast at the same time.
If I have to describe 2020 I can say that I’m grateful for what I achieved, it was definitely the year where I had myself back. I have a few projects for 2021 and I hope I will get to see them all accomplished. I’m very excited about them as I have so many ideas already.
In the new year I will talk about the help we got as a couple first and that I got lately from different professionals. I’m so grateful to them as they are the guide which brought me where I am now. There is nothing wrong in getting help and support and I’m not afraid of saying that I’m still seeing someone, mental health is often forgotten but do never underestimate its importance. Love yourself even through the toughest times.
For now I’m gonna enjoy this last few days of 2020 that are left. I’m putting my hopes in 2021, to reach my goals, be a better woman, wife and mother and finally hug the people I love again.