What you just read are some of my thoughts which I took from two notebooks my husband and I used to write daily. After losing our son we got help through counselling and we were suggested to write down our feelings to go back and read them again once we were in a better place. I will talk about counselling in another post as I believe it was crucial for us to face our new life after the loss. I often read these thoughts when I feel down, to value myself for the things I was able to achieve during the past 3 and a half years. Just a few people that will read this post know how we lost our son. I first want to say sorry if I hurt the feelings of anyone in any way, it was not my intention. This week I was thinking about what to publish next, trying to put thoughts and feelings together. I knew that at some stage I had to talk about my experience but I was trying to distance myself for a little bit longer. My husband then told me that I can’t avoid it for much longer as it is the reason that led to my anxiety and constant worry. I know that talking about it will make me feel better.
On the 5th of April 2017, during the anatomy scan, we found out that our baby boy had severe abnormalities that were affecting different organs. We were told he wouldn’t survive outside the womb. I was performed an amniocentesis on the same day and a week later we were informed that our baby had Trisomy 13. I knew in my heart what had to be done. I was about to take the most heartbreaking decision of my entire life, terminate the pregnancy. Darragh was born sleeping on the 3rd of May 2017.
I am an Italian woman living in Ireland. Here, almost 8 years ago, I found my independence and my happiness, I met the love of my life and created my own family.
I am a determined and strong willed person but unfortunately life put me through one of the toughest moments I ever experienced.
This blog is thought to regain confidence in myself and the future and it represents my journey dealing with anxiety after experiencing a termination of pregnancy due to fatal fetal anomaly.
I will talk about my life and share with you my good and bad days. I will also raise awareness on TFMR and mental health after a trauma.
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